All the types on the enneagram have stops of energy except the 8. For the 8, the energy never stops. They have an internal motor, endless energy, and it overwhelms people around them who are not 8s. There is no “stop” for an 8.
If there is a goal, 8s keep going and going and going until they get it. They have the most endurance of all the types. They burn people around them out. Either that, or when those around them are tired, they carry everyone around them towards the goal.
One of the most exhausting things to an 8 is trying to keep all that boundless energy inside. 8s realize, after a while, that their energy is considered “too much” for those around them so they keep dialing it down, pulling it in, pulling back, and it is completely exhausting.
They are the type most “in” their body. They tend to have trouble sitting still for a long time. They want to keep moving, including physically.
8s swing back and forth between Protector, defending those who are weak and vulnerable, or punishing people for being weak/vulnerable, depending on their health/integration.
3s and 8s can look very similar on the outside because they are both extremely goal-oriented. The difference is that 3s have a clear path and they care very much about how people see them as they proceed whereas 8s are intuitive, without a thought-out plan (they make it up as they go with their gut instinct), and they go towards the goal regardless of whether people like what they are doing.
8s and 3s tend not to work well because 8s hate the “bullshit, lying, and manipulation” of 3s. 8s do not want to be manipulated or controlled by 3s. So even though in terms of speed, 3-7-8 are the high speed types, 8s and 3s tend not to go together. (7s and 8s do.) 8s hate fakeness and treasure authenticity. 8s do not like 3s not only because they are fake, but because they seek to suppress truth and authenticity in those around them.
8s and 4s are the types that sense authenticity in others. 8s and 4s are the inside out of each other. 8s are strong on the outside and vulnerable on the inside. 4s seem vulnerable on the outside but they are extremely strong on the inside. So 8s and 4s become drawn to each other.
8s find it easiest to worry about others and take care of others, usually to their own detriment. 8s are very sensitive to other people’s feelings and try to take care of them, but they do not know how to care for themselves. They tend not to know how to name their feelings. They keep going and going taking care of others without taking care of themselves until they collapse. They keep giving themselves to others until there is nothing of themselves left and they lose themselves. They believe it is wrong to think about themselves.
It is important for 8s to work on becoming selfish, learning to think about themselves and take care of themselves.
9s diplomacy and love of peace (avoidance of conflict) is antithetical to an 8s directness. 8s high energy conflicts with 9 laziness/laidback-ness.
The 6 at the meeting loves having 8 clients because if you do exactly what they say, they are completely satisfied whereas with all the other types, even if you do exactly what they say, you can never be sure about what they really want or how they will react, or they keep changing their minds. For him, 8s are the easiest clients to have. Very clear, straightforward, and easy to please.
Other people tend to be able to tell that an 8 is feeling something before 8s are conscious of what they are feeling or before they can articulate it themselves. 8s have many feelings, but people around 8s tend to see all the feelings of 8s as anger. Even when 8s are not upset, people interpret them as angry and they fear them. 8s are always shocked to find out how much people fear them and they are very hurt by how afraid people are of them.
8 parents want their children to be tough, to prepare them for the world. They want to protect their children from the world by being tough on them. If they think their children or someone under their care or tutelage is too weak, the more they care about the person, the more they will get on them to make them tough. This can go very badly if done wrong, but done right, they can help strengthen others more than any other type.
When 8s feel like they are being ignored, they will keep dialing it up until the person pays attention, dialing up emotion, dialing up energy, dialing up volume, until they are heard. Being heard is extremely important to an 8. They will do whatever it takes to be heard.
8s can match their energy level to the person they are with. They can be very tender and protective with a vulnerable person who needs protection if they feel the person’s tears or fear are authentic (not fake, not for show or manipulation). If an 8 feels that a fearful or vulnerable person is fearful for a good reason, they will do whatever necessary to protect them.
8s nurture in a way no other type does by helping (or forcing) those they care about to confront things that nobody else will bring up. 8s tend to bring attention to truth behind the facades that all the other types deny or fake.
If they feel that a person is being weak, or acting vulnerable, in order for show or manipulation, they will cut them off. Professionally, if it is someone they cannot avoid, it means they will not give themselves to the person anymore.
8s can very quickly raise their energy to match someone who is trying to dominate them. People view their response as anger, but it is an automatic defense mechanism. They do not feel angry.
8s scanning for danger in order to protect loved ones is often viewed as paranoia by others but it is not. 6s scan for danger out of fear and paranoia. 8s scan for danger out of a desire to protect those they love.
8s are very suspicious of vulnerability. They take a long time to trust people, but when they trust them, they show them vulnerability and they trust wholly. 8s are fiercely loyal. (The 8 loyalty is something that came up over and over again.)
8s really want to be loved. 8s tend to be viewed by others as not needing to be cared for or loved because they look so self-sufficient but they have a very strong desire to be loved. Even though they are a gut type, the center of an 8 is their heart. Everything that they DO is because of what they feel in their heart.
The gifts of 8s
– helping others discover their strengths
– they can be very understanding
– if you are in a relationship with an 8, you can always count on an 8 to be there for you, as long as that 8 has breath
– they will do whatever it takes to keep those they love safe
– very supportive
– 8s have clear, focused energy that keeps moving straight forward. 7s especially appreciate this because they are so scattered.
During the discussion, I was shocked at how much 9s couldn’t stand the 8s. I was not expecting that. 3s can’t stand 8s either but that was no surprise. The feeling is completely mutual. There is always tension between 3 bullshit and 8 power. There were no 5s at the meeting tonight. All the other types genuinely seemed to like 8s, which was also surprising. I thought they would be more generally disliked, but they were not.
There is something special between 8s and 4s that kept coming up. There were 3 pairs of 4/8 female friends and couples.