An experimental exploration of the combination of enneagram numbers between a couple in terms of the Hornevian Triads, Harmonic Triads, Psychological Triads and subtypes to discover the path to individual growth and togetherness as a couple.
The numbers in parentheses are the undeveloped/secondary wing and subtype, areas of potential growth.
Male
- type: 6
- wings: 5 (7)
- arrows: {3}, {9}
- tritype: [1], [2]
- subtype: SO/SX/(SP)
- enneatotal: [1]-[2]-{3}-5-6-(7)-{9} <4-8>
- Hornevian Triads
- Compliant 126: 126 (triple compliant)
- Withdrawn 459: 59 (very withdrawn)
- Assertive 378: 3(7) (potentially assertive)
- Compliant 126: 126 (triple compliant)
- Harmonic Triads
- Competent 135: 135 (triple competent)
- Positive 279: 2(7)9 (very positive; potentially triple positive)
- Reactive: 468: 6 (weakest triad)
- Competent 135: 135 (triple competent)
- Psychological Triads
- Intensity/Polarity 147: 1(7) (not very intense)
- Superiority/Dominance 258: 28 (very dominant)
- Multiplicity/Chameleon: 369 (triple chameleon)
- Intensity/Polarity 147: 1(7) (not very intense)
- ENTP
This 6 with 1 and 2 in the tritype has all 3 numbers of the Hornevian Compliant Triad, so it is the most compliant tritype, the tritype that most moves towards people.
This 6 also has all the numbers of the Competency Triad (1-3-5; coldest, most logical, rational).
While there are two of the numbers of the Positive Triad (2-7-9), without exercising the assertive 7 wing, it is a compliant and withdrawn positivity as opposed to the infectious positivity of a 7.
Numbers missing from his enneatotal are 4 and 8, the two most deeply emotional types on the enneagram. With only the 6 from the Reactive Triad (4-6-8), this is a comparatively non-reactive, unemotional 6.
This particular 6 has a very strong connection to the 5 wing and 9 arrow of the withdrawn triad (4-5-9).
A 6 with the SO instinctual variant wants to support the social group and is a very 2-ish looking 6. An SO 6 with 2 in the tritype amplifies the 2 tendencies.
The 3 highest energy types are 378, so this 6’s potential for growth lies in consciously exercising the secondary 7 wing and using the arrow to 3, both assertive and high energy numbers, in order to balance out the compliance with 7 energy, positivity (fun!) and 3 goal-orientedness (being more competitive and getting things done).
He is triple compliant, triple competent, and very positive (with potential to be even more positive at 7), warm, people-oriented, focused on helping others by finding the right solution their problems.
Female
- type: 8
- wings: 9 (7)
- arrows: {2}, {5}
- tritype: [7], [4]
- subtype: SP/SO/(SX)
- enneatotal: {2}-[4]-{5}-(7)-[7]-8-9 <1-3-6>
- Hornevian Triads
- Compliant 126: 2 (not very compliant)
- Withdrawn 459: 459 (triple withdrawn)
- Assertive 378: 7(7)8 (very assertive; potentially triple assertive)
- Compliant 126: 2 (not very compliant)
- Harmonic Triads
- Competent 135: 5 (weakest triad with multiplicity)
- Positive 279: 27(7)9 (triple positive; potentially quadruple positive)
- Reactive: 468: 48 (very reactive)
- Competent 135: 5 (weakest triad with multiplicity)
- Psychological Triads
- Intensity/Polarity 147: 47(7) (very intense; potentially triple intense)
- Superiority/Dominance 258: 258 (triple dominant)
- Multiplicity/Chameleon: 9 (weakest triad together with competency)
- Intensity/Polarity 147: 47(7) (very intense; potentially triple intense)
- MB: I?F?
Though on the surface, this is a quiet-looking 8 with a 9 wing, this 8 is extra assertive (7-7-8), double reactive (4-8), triple withdrawn (4-5-9), and with the secondary 7 wing, even more than triple positive (2-7-7-9). This is the most positive and most withdrawn 8, the least angry-looking 8.
All the positive numbers (2-7-9) create an outwardly cheerful and sunny disposition. However, the numbers of the Positive Triad all maintain positivity by moving away from or denying negativity, so combined with all the numbers of the Withdrawn Triad (4-5-9) and the SP instinctual variant (the most withdrawn subtype) means this 8 avoids pain and conflict by moving away from people and away.
The 4 and the 7 are the two most creative numbers on the enneagram, the most fashionable in a unique way, drawn to beauty and originality. They are part of the 147 Intensity/Polarity Triad (aka the “nothing is ever good enough” triad). However, where 4s are emotionally intense, and take time to slowly feel everything is unbearably gorgeous or unbearably ugly (and combined with the 9 wing slows things down even further), 7s are intellectually intense and they think everything is immediately fascinating or boring for a moment before hopping on to the next thing that happens to catch their attention. Either way, both remain dissatisfied with whatever is before them. Having both 4 and 7 in the tritype makes for an extremely conflicted person who needs time to feel things deeply while simultaneously being constantly distracted by the surrounding environment.
This 8’s path to growth is in going to 5 and 2, both numbers that are antithetical to 8. With this enneatotal, the 2 is especially difficult to move to, as it requires consciously moving away from SP and withdrawn tendencies, moving towards people without false positivity and escapism, facing unpleasant and heavy realities in order to help others.
However, 2 is also a fairly high energy type, so moving to 5 will calm the high intensity and energy of both 7 and 8. Also, learning to lean on the 9 wing in a healthy way, making peace by facing reality (instead of denial, the unhealthy way), and consciously moving against the 4 tendency of avoiding ugliness will balance the 7 need for escape and longing for freedom.
Combined Total: [1]–[2]–{2}–{3}–[4]–5–{5}–6–(7)–(7)–[7]–8–{9}–9
Shared: SO 2-5-(7)-9
Between the two, all 9 numbers are covered fairly evenly. This spread of numbers has great potential for balance and health.
At unhealthy levels, 2 is extremely self-centered (a taker instead of a giver), 5 is greedy and detached from other people (hoarder), and 9 is passive and slothful. An unhealthy couple with these numbers in common will be increasingly isolated from each other and trying to take from each other.
At healthy levels, 2 gives without expectation of anything in return, 5 connect and give themselves to others, and 9 takes action.
Stretching into and growing in the third area of subtype stacking, the basically nonexistent area, almost by definition goes against our very natures, but for two people to connect fully, it is absolutely vital. In the case of this couple, the male’s third subtype (SP) is the female’s first, and the female’s third (SX) is the male’s second, so it would be important for him to understand her need to have time alone regularly to recharge and come together, while it is important for her to create time to give him and his interests full attention from time to time.
For this couple to come closer together and grow, it is important to be very involved in the same social group in a Helper or Peacemaker type of role (2 and 9 are both people oriented), while fostering closeness with each other at 5 (the husband’s wing and wife’s arrow) and 7 (both husband and wife share a secondary 7 wing), perhaps finding varied subjects to dive into together deeply (5) for short periods (7).
This means the husband needs to hold back on his 5-ness (deep obsession with limited subjects) while the wife needs to delve into her 5-ness more deeply. And the wife needs to hold back on her 7-ness (speed, impulsiveness, scatteredness) while the husband exercises his secondary 7 wing until he can access it easily so they can enjoy things together and have fun together.
When the husband develops his 7 wing, though, potential downfall would be escapism together, seeking fun together in order to avoid reality.
Though the wife’s 7-ness shields her from her husband’s 6w5 tendencies towards depression and anxiety, it creates a wall between them as well. To break through that wall, both need to remember that her 7 can help lift him up and provide relief from his 6 anxieties and fears if he is willing to stretch out his 7 wing and fly with her.
He can find success and confidence through achievement if he can learn to draw from her boundless 8 energy to fuel his 3.