An experimental exploration of the combination of enneagram numbers between a couple in terms of the Hornevian Triads, Harmonic Triads, Psychological Triads and subtypes to discover the path to individual growth and togetherness as a couple.
The numbers in parentheses are the undeveloped/secondary wing and nearly non-existent third subtype, areas of potential growth.
Male
- type: 9
- wings: 1 (8)
- arrows: {3}, {6}
- tritype: [4], [7]
- subtype: SP/SO/(SX)
- enneatotal: 1-{3}-[4]-{6}-[7]-(8)-9 <2-5>
- Hornevian Triads
- Compliant/Warm 126: 16 (very compliant)
- Withdrawn 459: 49 (very withdrawn)
- Assertive/Aggressive 378: 37(8) (very assertive; potentially triple assertive)
- Compliant/Warm 126: 16 (very compliant)
- Harmonic Triads
- Competent/Cold 135: 13 (very competent)
- Positive 279: 79 (very positive)
- Reactive/Mirroring: 468: 46(8) (very reactive; potentially triple reactive)
- Competent/Cold 135: 13 (very competent)
- Psychological Triads
- Intensity/Polarity 147: 147 (triple intense)
- Superiority/Dominance 258: (8) (weakest triad; basically nonexistent)
- Multiplicity/Chameleon: 369 (triple chameleon)
- Intensity/Polarity 147: 147 (triple intense)
- ESFP
Triple intense, triple chamelon. Potentially triple assertive, potentially triple reactive. Very compliant/withdrawn/competent/positive. Surprisingly well-balanced across all the triads except Superiority/Dominant triad, which is non-existent, and even with growth into the 8 wing will still remain very weak.
Lacks 2, lacks 5. At worst, this means he does not think about other serving or helping others and does not think very deeply about anything.
At unhealthy or average levels, 9s tend to stagnate within their own type and not move along their arrows as much as other types, so depending on his health level, his connection to 3 and 6 could be weak.
However, 9s access both wings more easily than other types so he could have a much stronger connection to both 1 and 8.
Female
- type: 4
- wings: 5 (3)
- arrows: {1}, {2}
- tritype: [6], [9]
- subtype: SO/SX/(SP)
- enneatotal: {1}-{2}-(3)-4-5-[6]-[9] <7-8>
- Hornevian Triads
- Compliant/Warm 126: 126 (triple compliant)
- Withdrawn 459: 459 (triple withdrawn)
- Assertive/Aggressive 378: (3) (not assertive at all; basically nonexistent; weakest triad)
- Compliant/Warm 126: 126 (triple compliant)
- Harmonic Triads
- Competent/Cold 135: 135 (triple competent)
- Positive 279: 29 (very positive)
- Reactive/Mirroring: 468: 46 (very reactive)
- Competent/Cold 135: 135 (triple competent)
- Psychological Triads
- Intensity/Polarity 147: 14 (very intense)
- Superiority/Dominance 258: 25 (very dominant)
- Multiplicity/Chameleon: (3)69 (potentially triple chameleon)
- Intensity/Polarity 147: 14 (very intense)
- MB: INFP
Triple compliant, triple withdrawn, triple competent. Potentially triple chameleon. Very positive/reactive/intense/dominant. Well-balanced across all the triads except assertiveness, which is nonexistent, and even with growth into the 3 wing will still remain very weak.
Lacks 7, lacks 8. At worst, this means she has low energy, low drive, low ambition (especially without a 3 wing), low speed, low assertiveness, gets pushed around by other people. (378 are the highest speeds, highest energy, highest motivation types.)
SHARED TRAITS
Combined Total: 1–{1}–{2}–{3}–(3)–[4]–4–5–{6}–[6]–[7]–(8)–9–[9]
Shared: **FP SO 1-(3)-4-6-9
As a couple, potentially triple chameleon (image shifting, personality shifting, being shifting). Very compliant (moving towards people), very withdrawn (moving away from people), very reactive (seeking mirroring and blowing up if not getting it; agree with me or else), very intense (everything is black or white; nothing is ever good enough; again, agree with me or else).
NEGATIVES
Unless he is careful, he will be very assertive/aggressive which is her weakest area. However, unless she is careful, she will be very dominant, which is his weakest area. This has potential to be a good balance, however, if both are conscious of it and work around it accordingly.
At unhealthy levels, having double or potentially triple numbers in the Assertive/Aggressive 378 Triad (the “moving against people” triad), irresponsibly prioritizing fun (at 7), selfishly prioritizing his own goals first (at 3), and potentially prioritizing his own desires first (at 8). Keep in mind that according to Riso and Hudson, 9s, unlike all the other types, often access both wings equally.
At unhealthy levels, she could dominate him socially (at 2; “I am better than you because I am more kind to people.”) and intellectually (at 5; “I am smarter than you are and smart is all that matters.”). However, the Superiority/Dominance Triad 258 is significantly weaker than the Assertive/Aggressive Triad 378, so if both are in a unhealthy state, he could overpower her.
Sharing 1 and 4 in the Intensity/Polarity Triad 147 means that both could be very fickle. There is potential to clash on views of perfection and morality (at 1) and react to them strongly (at shared 4-6). For a 4 and an 8 (his secondary wing), there is no such thing as emotional neutrality. It is all or nothing.
On top of that, sharing F and 4 and not sharing 5 means there could be extreme emotions without much rationality in discussions. And not sharing any mind numbers except 6 also points to extreme ups and downs and feeling conflicted.
And after a reactionary, emotional blowup, there could be complete withdrawal from each other (at 459).
At unhealthy levels, sharing P and only 1 in the Competency Triad 135 combined with the shared 9 slothfulness could mean perhaps never getting anything done together.
POSITIVES & POTENTIAL
Because the Reactive Triad 468 is the triad that seeks mirroring, when there is mirroring, it is where people connect most deeply. The shared 4 and 6 combined with the 9 desire to merge and with F means that there is potential for a deep, long-lasting connection that most people never get.
To connect on an even deeper level, he should intentionally tone down his 7-ness and SO-ness and work on cultivating his SX, perhaps drawing from his 9-ness, and redirecting his 9 urge to merge towards her as a person (her dreams, her desires) rather than as an extension of his SP-ness (food, sleep, house, family).
To broaden herself as a person, she should seek SP growth, perhaps drawing from her 9-ness and desire for comfort. To have no food, sleep, house, or family literally means either a person is dead or a thing is inanimate. Going against the desires of 4-ness at an unhealthy/average level (“I MUST be special, different, unique, gorgeous, glorious, over the top in some way,” etc.) and learning to love and share the everyday quiet and the mundane life-sustaining aspects of life together will provide mutual comfort. Two SPs connect at physicality which, according to some, means that sharing SP can lead to the best sex.
Sharing 6-ness and not sharing the 27 in the Positivity Triad 279 (both deny reality, choosing to only see things positively) means seeing reality, truths, and the underlying meaning of things in a complex way that almost all the other types either refuse to see or are unable to ever realize. And sharing 4-ness means seeing the beauty in the broken reality that both witness.
Sharing SO, sharing 16 in the Compliant Triad 126, and potentially sharing 369 means that as a couple, both are extremely people-oriented. There is great potential for contributing to a shared social group. This would preferably be a group that is more slow-paced, peace-oriented and calm than a high-energy or activist type of group, as the shared numbers are mostly low-energy numbers.
Potentially sharing 3 at a healthy level, though the access is quite tenuous as his arrow and her secondary wing, could mean that with a shared drive and a shared goal (whatever that me be), anything can be accomplished.