enneatruth

There are 18 type+wing combinations and there are 27 tritypes. Some combinations can have all three numbers of one of the centers. Obviously, all 369 Chameleons can do that regardless of their wing if they access wings. It is one of the main things that sets them apart from all the other types. But there are a handful of non-chameleons who do that, too.

1 is the heart-ish gut type. 8 is the mind-ish gut type.

Triple Heart

• 1w2: 1 has an arrow to 4. With a 2 wing and 3 in the tritype, 1 can get 234.
• 2w3: has an arrow to 4. With a 3 wing, 2 can have 234.
• 4w3: has an arrow to 2. With a 3 wing, 4 can have 234.
• 3 can access both wings to get 234.

Triple Mind

• 5w6: 5 has an arrow to 7. With a 6 wing, 5 can have 567.
• 7w6: 7 has an arrow to 5. With a 6 wing, 7 can have 567.
• 8w7: 8 has an arrow to 5. With a 6 in the tritype and a 7 wing, 8 can get 567.
• 6 can access both wings to get 567.

Triple Gut

• 2w1: 2 has an arrow to 8. With a 1 wing and with 9 in the tritype 2 has access to 891.
• 7w8: 7 has an arrow to 1. With a 8 wing and with 9 in the tritype, 7 can have access to 891.
• 9 can access both wings to get 891.

Note that 9 can and often does access both wings but, for whatever reason, it is considerably harder and takes a great deal more maturity and emotional health for for a 3 or a 6 to access both wings.

I started taking a new class today. The instructor is a female who exudes calm, controlled power and confidence. She talks clearly, concisely, and openly, without any pretense. Physically, she is powerfully built, with very muscled shoulders, back, arms, and legs. Every movement she makes is controlled. She must do some kind of extreme sport.

It was amazing to me how she was able to keep in control of the entire class, holding space for everyone, giving space to everyone, encompassing everyone within her energy.

It was interesting to see how she makes sure to note everyone’s names, writing down everyone’s name, spouse’s name, and children’s names in her notebook. She seems to know a lot about names and etymology. One of the women in the class has a daughter named Larsen with an E instead of an O “because she’s a girl.” The teacher pointed out that names ending with -sen and -son both mean “son of” so it’s still masculine. When I said maybe she could go all the way Icelandic and call her “Larsdottir”, the teacher said, Icelandic names are matronymic so it would be “Amydottir.” I just love her. I don’t know a single other person in real life who cares enough about names to point that out in conversation, let alone know it to begin with. She must have some kind of interest or background in language or linguistics. Whatever her interests are, it is obvious she cares about words.

She talks a lot about DOING. I’m pretty sure she is a gut type, but I see no sloth (9) or judginess (1) whatsoever, so my guess she’s an 8.

I think she is SO/SP. Possibly SO/SX, but at least right now, I sense more SP than SX off of her.

My guess for her numbers after spending a few hours with her is 8w9, 863, so 8-2-5-3-6-9.

If so, she is lacking 1-4-7, which is extremely interesting. Those are all the “nothing is good enough” numbers.

She is such a fascinating person. She has what a former friend called the “8 smile” and shows all her teeth when she smiles or laughs. I love that kind of smile. Very genuine.

I don’t get the sense that we will ever be close friends, but I respect her and I am so excited to learn more from her.

I was surprised and delighted to notice today that the Hornevian triads correspond quite perfectly to the instinctual variants. This should mean that people who have more or all of the triad numbers with the corresponding instinctual variant will have higher levels of that trait. I find this all just so fascinating!

• SO = move towards people, Hornevian Compliant Triad 126
• SP = move away from people, Hornevian Withdrawn Triad 459
• SX = move against people, Hornevian Assertive Triad 378

The Assertive/Aggressive Triad 378 move against people towards a goal. SX moves against people and stands with one person or small group of people. So the tritype 378 combined with the SX instinct would be someone, I imagine, like Athanasius, aka, “Athanasius Contra Mundum” (Latin for “Athanasius against the world”).

Learning the enneagram has changed my life, transformed my marriage, and changed my outlook on reality as a whole. It has helped me understand so much about people, interpersonal dynamics, my family, my children, and generational problems within my family. The first couple of years I studied the enneagram, I was so excited that it broke down traditional, cultural understandings of masculinity and femininity, and masculine and feminine roles in the family and in society. I felt that it explained everything there was to know about people.

But there is something that has been distressing me more and more as I trudge onward on the enneagram path towards understanding: it does not explain male and female differences.

The enneagram explains so much of underlying human nature and motivations but it does not take into account differences between male and female.

For example, why is it that there are more couples than I can count whom I know personally, where when the man is the one who initiates sex, they have sex, but when the woman initiates, nothing happens. Regardless of type, regardless of instinctual variant, regardless of dominance, aggressiveness, passivity, this is a common pattern across male and female sexual relations. (And, by the way, if the man consistently turns down the woman when she initiates sex, it is a red flag for sexual and other kinds of abuse.)

I need an answer. The enneagram does not have an answer for male/female issues because it sees all people as simply human, completely sexless. Either the enneagram is seriously lacking and it needs to have an added component or there is something else I need to learn about all this.

Either way, it is incredibly frustrating.

Every type and subtype has feelings in some way. 369 deal with feelings by denying them all together. 1257 escape their own feelings by fixating on something or someone other than their own feelings. 48 go deeper and deeper into their feelings, getting lost in them, with the highest highs and the lowest lows.

Please note all the descriptions in this post are for unhealthy to average levels of the types and instincts. At healthy levels, all types rise above their type struggles and achieve inner peace.

DEEP EMOTIONAL CONNECTORS

The 3 deepest emotional connectors between people are at Type 4, Type 8, and SX Instinct.

(468, the three numbers of the so-called “Reactive Triad,” all have deep connection, but 6 deep connection is loyalty-based, and thought-based, not emotion-based.)

4s and 8s connect at wanting. 4s yearn: 4w5 avoids attention and yearns alone in quiet (e.g. painters), 4w3 seeks attention and puts those yearnings on show (e.g. singers), but both 4w5 and 4w3 are endlessly wandering, soul-seeking, and never satisfied with anything they find. 8s lust: 8w7 lusts loudly after a myriad of things, 8w9 lusts stealthily after more and more comfort, but both 8w7 and 8w9 never, ever stop moving, and no matter how much they acquire, it is never enough.

4s and 8s share a special connection when they share their deepest desires, the infinite wanting, seeking transcendence and eternity, and never finding satisfaction or peace no matter how high they fly or how deep they dive.

4s dwell in the past, 8s chase after the future, and neither is present, in the now, both of them always wanting what they cannot have.

8s need to be heard and feel understood. They cannot hold back the high tide of emotion, a tide which overwhelms all the other types except 4s, who are the low tide. 4s are listeners, and not detached listeners like the 5, but attached, empathic listeners. 8s cannot stop expressing the feelings that 4s keep within.

There can be a beautiful balance between the high energy of an 8 and the low energy of a 4 as they both go to 2 and fulfilling each other’s emotional needs, or a violent volatility as they become cold (135 are the cold numbers), withdraw and look down on each other, with the 8 at 5 (withdrawn) and the 4 at 1 (judgemental).

SX is all-consuming, seeking to consume and be consumed by one Other person. It is the sexual instinct, the death instinct. Two SXs together create their own world, their own reality, rip out their own hearts to give to the other, meld their souls, live and breathe each other’s existence. An SX without that Other Half continues to seek for connection, wandering and searching for that world to share alone with another person.

NON-CONNECTORS

369 all deny the core emotion of their centers. 3 denies sadness/shame, 6 denies fear, and 9 denies rage. They are the unfeeling or numb types.

1s feel very strongly that everything is right or wrong, black or white, and try to impose their standards of morality on themselves at SP, another person at SX, or a social group at SO. They are the teachers, lawmakers, judges, policemen.

2s feelings are about needs: their own needs at SP, another’s needs at SX, and a social group’s needs at SO. The 2 focus on needs instead of feelings makes it difficult for 2s to connect deeply.

5s feelings are deeply hidden within themselves. 7s feelings are scattered and distracted, about everything except themselves. Either way, they have trouble connecting deeply with others at 5 or at 7.

SP are all about ensuring physical survival (food, shelter, clothing, sex, money). Their attention is directed inwards towards themselves. They may connect with another person if that person is what they consider part of their SP (parent, sibling, spouse, child) but it will be caring for that person’s SP needs as opposed to caring about the person’s feelings and motivations.

SO are about contributing to or controlling a social group. They seek to connect many people, usually in their area of interest, but their primary attention is oriented to a group of people, not a single person.

Today, we started thinking about the 9 types in relation to time. We are current thinking on the deeper meaning of this and will write more as we explore further.

The Time-Orientation Triads

• Past 145 (foundations based in the past, pulled into the past)
• Present 269 (torn between past and future, stuck in the present)
• Future 378 (strong drive towards goals and visions, pushing towards the future)

No one kind of connection is better than another. At average health levels, we all have a primary, secondary, and an almost non-existent tertiary subtype.

However, whether realize it or not, all of us need all the subtypes, all the connections. As we learn about ourselves and seek to grow, we can consciously exercise and nurture the parts of us that are weak or almost invisible, until they flourish and we transcend our former selves, realizing our full potential.

• SP connection is a physical/bodily connection (sharing food, sleep, clothing, shelter, sex)
• SX connection is a soul/spirit connection (mirroring hopes, dreams, desires, death)
• SO connection is shared group connection (contributing or dominating a group, structure, government, entertainment)

An experimental exploration of the combination of enneagram numbers between a couple in terms of the Hornevian Triads, Harmonic Triads, Psychological Triads and subtypes to discover the path to individual growth and togetherness as a couple.

The numbers in parentheses are the undeveloped/secondary wing and nearly non-existent third subtype, areas of potential growth.

Male

• type: 9
• wings: 1 (8)
• arrows: {3}, {6}
• tritype: [4], [7]
• subtype: SP/SO/(SX)
• enneatotal: 1-{3}-[4]-{6}-[7]-(8)-9 <2-5>
  
• Hornevian Triads
  • Compliant/Warm 126: 16 (very compliant)
    
  • Withdrawn 459: 49 (very withdrawn)
    
  • Assertive/Aggressive 378: 37(8) (very assertive; potentially triple assertive)
    
• Harmonic Triads
  • Competent/Cold 135: 13 (very competent)
    
  • Positive 279: 79 (very positive)
    
  • Reactive/Mirroring: 468: 46(8) (very reactive; potentially triple reactive)
    
• Psychological Triads
  • Intensity/Polarity 147: 147 (triple intense)
    
  • Superiority/Dominance 258: (8) (weakest triad; basically nonexistent)
    
  • Multiplicity/Chameleon: 369 (triple chameleon)
    
• ESFP

Triple intense, triple chamelon. Potentially triple assertive, potentially triple reactive. Very compliant/withdrawn/competent/positive. Surprisingly well-balanced across all the triads except Superiority/Dominant triad, which is non-existent, and even with growth into the 8 wing will still remain very weak.

Lacks 2, lacks 5. At worst, this means he does not think about other serving or helping others and does not think very deeply about anything.

At unhealthy or average levels, 9s tend to stagnate within their own type and not move along their arrows as much as other types, so depending on his health level, his connection to 3 and 6 could be weak.

However, 9s access both wings more easily than other types so he could have a much stronger connection to both 1 and 8.

Female

• type: 4
• wings: 5 (3)
• arrows: {1}, {2}
• tritype: [6], [9]
• subtype: SO/SX/(SP)
• enneatotal: {1}-{2}-(3)-4-5-[6]-[9] <7-8>
  
• Hornevian Triads
  • Compliant/Warm 126: 126 (triple compliant)
    
  • Withdrawn 459: 459 (triple withdrawn)
    
  • Assertive/Aggressive 378: (3) (not assertive at all; basically nonexistent; weakest triad)
    
• Harmonic Triads
  • Competent/Cold 135: 135 (triple competent)
    
  • Positive 279: 29 (very positive)
    
  • Reactive/Mirroring: 468: 46 (very reactive)
    
• Psychological Triads
  • Intensity/Polarity 147: 14 (very intense)
    
  • Superiority/Dominance 258: 25 (very dominant)
    
  • Multiplicity/Chameleon: (3)69 (potentially triple chameleon)
    
• MB: INFP

Triple compliant, triple withdrawn, triple competent. Potentially triple chameleon. Very positive/reactive/intense/dominant. Well-balanced across all the triads except assertiveness, which is nonexistent, and even with growth into the 3 wing will still remain very weak.

Lacks 7, lacks 8. At worst, this means she has low energy, low drive, low ambition (especially without a 3 wing), low speed, low assertiveness, gets pushed around by other people. (378 are the highest speeds, highest energy, highest motivation types.)

SHARED TRAITS

Combined Total: 1–{1}–{2}–{3}–(3)–[4]–4–5–{6}–[6]–[7]–(8)–9–[9]

Shared: **FP SO 1-(3)-4-6-9

As a couple, potentially triple chameleon (image shifting, personality shifting, being shifting). Very compliant (moving towards people), very withdrawn (moving away from people), very reactive (seeking mirroring and blowing up if not getting it; agree with me or else), very intense (everything is black or white; nothing is ever good enough; again, agree with me or else).

NEGATIVES

Unless he is careful, he will be very assertive/aggressive which is her weakest area. However, unless she is careful, she will be very dominant, which is his weakest area. This has potential to be a good balance, however, if both are conscious of it and work around it accordingly.

At unhealthy levels, having double or potentially triple numbers in the Assertive/Aggressive 378 Triad (the “moving against people” triad), irresponsibly prioritizing fun (at 7), selfishly prioritizing his own goals first (at 3), and potentially prioritizing his own desires first (at 8). Keep in mind that according to Riso and Hudson, 9s, unlike all the other types, often access both wings equally.

At unhealthy levels, she could dominate him socially (at 2; “I am better than you because I am more kind to people.”) and intellectually (at 5; “I am smarter than you are and smart is all that matters.”). However, the Superiority/Dominance Triad 258 is  significantly weaker than the Assertive/Aggressive Triad 378, so if both are in a unhealthy state, he could overpower her.

Sharing 1 and 4 in the Intensity/Polarity Triad 147 means that both could be very fickle. There is potential to clash on views of perfection and morality (at 1) and react to them strongly (at shared 4-6). For a 4 and an 8 (his secondary wing), there is no such thing as emotional neutrality. It is all or nothing.

On top of that, sharing F and 4 and not sharing 5 means there could be extreme emotions without much rationality in discussions. And not sharing any mind numbers except 6 also points to extreme ups and downs and feeling conflicted.

And after a reactionary, emotional blowup, there could be complete withdrawal from each other (at 459).

At unhealthy levels, sharing P and only 1 in the Competency Triad 135 combined with the shared 9 slothfulness could mean perhaps never getting anything done together.

POSITIVES & POTENTIAL

Because the Reactive Triad 468 is the triad that seeks mirroring, when there is mirroring, it is where people connect most deeply. The shared 4 and 6 combined with the 9 desire to merge and with F means that there is potential for a deep, long-lasting connection that most people never get.

To connect on an even deeper level, he should intentionally  tone down his 7-ness and SO-ness and work on cultivating his SX, perhaps drawing from his 9-ness, and redirecting his 9 urge to merge towards her as a person (her dreams, her desires) rather than as an extension of his SP-ness (food, sleep, house, family).

To broaden herself as a person, she should seek SP growth, perhaps drawing from her 9-ness and desire for comfort. To have no food, sleep, house, or family literally means either a person is dead or a thing is inanimate. Going against the desires of 4-ness at an unhealthy/average level (“I MUST be special, different, unique, gorgeous, glorious, over the top in some way,” etc.) and learning to love and share the everyday quiet and the mundane life-sustaining aspects of life together will provide mutual comfort. Two SPs connect at physicality which, according to some, means that sharing SP can lead to the best sex.

Sharing 6-ness and not sharing the 27 in the Positivity Triad 279 (both deny reality, choosing to only see things positively) means seeing reality, truths, and the underlying meaning of things in a complex way that almost all the other types either refuse to see or are unable to ever realize. And sharing 4-ness means seeing the beauty in the broken reality that both witness.

Sharing SO, sharing 16 in the Compliant Triad 126, and potentially sharing 369 means that as a couple, both are extremely people-oriented. There is great potential for contributing to a shared social group. This would preferably be a group that is more slow-paced, peace-oriented and calm than a high-energy or activist type of group, as the shared numbers are mostly low-energy numbers.

Potentially sharing 3 at a healthy level, though the access is quite tenuous as his arrow and her secondary wing, could mean that with a shared drive and a shared goal (whatever that me be), anything can be accomplished.

As I have been thinking about the 9 triads and how they relate to each other, it struck me that the Psychological Triads are closely related to the flow of arrows of all the types to the 3 centers. Read this post for an analysis of the flow of arrows.

The 3-6-9 and 1-8 have a lot in common. They all flow to all 3 centers via arrows. There is more when you look at the Psychological Triads. Image below is from the Enneagram Philosophy tumblr page.

The three triads are the Intensity/Polarity Triad 147, the Superiority/Dominance Triad 258, and the Multiplicity Triad 369.

This means that enneatype 1 is by definition triple intense/polar, enneatype 8 is by definition triple superior/dominant, and of course, Types 3 and 6 and 9 are by definition triple multiplicitous (is that even a word?), or as I like to call them, triple chameleons.

An experimental exploration of the combination of enneagram numbers between a couple in terms of the Hornevian triad, Harmonic triad, and instinctual variants (aka subtypes) to discover the path to individual growth and togetherness as a couple.

The numbers in parentheses are the undeveloped/secondary wing.

Husband

• type: 6
• wings: 5 (7)
• arrows: {3}, {9}
• tritype: [1], [2]
• subtype: SP/SO/(SX)
• enneatotal: [1]-[2]-{3}-5-6-(7)-{9} <4-8>
  
• Hornevian Triads
  • Compliant 126: 126
  • Withdrawn 459: 59
  • Assertive 378: 3(7)
    
• Harmonic Triads
  • Competent 135: 135
  • Positive 279: 2(7)9
  • Reactive: 468: 6
• Psychological Triads
  • Intensity/Polarity 147: 1(7)
    
  • Superiority/Dominance 258: 25
    
  • Multiplicity/Chameleon: 369
• ISFJ

Wife

• type: 7
  
• wings: 6 (8)
  
• arrows: {1}, {5}
• tritype: [8], [2]
• subtype: SX/SO
• enneatotal: {1}-[2]-{5}-6-7-[8]-(8) <3-4-9>
  
• Hornevian Triads
  • Compliant 126: 126
    
  • Withdrawn 459: 5
    
  • Assertive 378: 78(8)
    
• Harmonic Triads
  • Competent 135: 15
    
  • Positive 279: 27
  • Reactive: 468: 68(8)
• Psychological Triads
  • Intensity/Polarity 147: 17
    
  • Superiority/Dominance 258: 258(8)
    
  • Multiplicity/Chameleon: 6
    
• MB: ENTP

Combined Total: [1]–{1}-[2]-[2]-{3}–5-{5}-6-6-(7)-7-[8]-(8)-{9} <4>

Shared: SO 1-2-5-6-7

Everybody has all 3 centers within them, a heart, a mind, a gut. It is important to remember that all the types access all 3 centers via tritype. However, not all types have equal access to the 3 centers of processing.

3-6-9 and 1-8 are the types that flow to all 3 centers via arrows.

3-6-9 have access to all 3 centers most evenly. Perhaps this is what makes them the Chameleons of the enneagram, equally torn in different directions of feeling, thinking and doing.

1 and 8, both gut types, have arrows to the heart center and mind center. However, a 1w9 and 8w9 are more heavily concentrated in the gut center, though interestingly less action-oriented than they would be with opposite wings because the 9 tones down the “doing-ness” of the 1 and 8.

The 1w2 is the “heart 1” with extra access to the heart and the 8w7 is the “mind 8” with extra access to the mind. Both a 1w2 and an 8w7 will be more of a doer than they would be with 9 being the primary wing.

The ones that do not access all 3 centers via arrows are 2-4-5-7.

2 goes to 4 and 8. It has no access the mind via wings or arrows. The 2 is a “mindless” type. They are primarily feelers and doers, not thinkers.

7 goes to 5 and 1. It has no access to the heart via wings or arrows. The 7 is a “heartless” type, primarily thinkers and doers, not feelers.

4 goes to 1 and 2. There are no arrows to the mind. 4s access to the mind is by a 5 wing. So a 4w5 is the “mind 4” and 4w3 is the “mindless 4” which can choose to access the mind by consciously exercising the secondary 5 wing.

5 goes to 7 and 8. There are no arrows to the heart. 5s access to the heart is by a 4 wing. So a 5w4 is the “heart 4” and the 5w6 is the “heartless 5” which can choose to access the heart by consciously exercising the secondary 4 wing.

There are 9 tritypes for each of the 9 enneatypes. The descriptions below are based on 3 sets of triads, Hornevian, Harmonic, and Psychological. Each of the following 9 tritypes below will be affected by whether the dominant wing is 7 or 9, for a total of 18 types of 8s. A 7 wing would raise the energy higher adding impulsiveness and distractedness, while a 9 wing would lower the energy and make it comparatively more quiet and passive.

825 triple dominant/superior (the know-it-all 8)
835 double competent
845 double withdrawn

826 double compliant
836 double chameleon/multiplicity
846 triple reactive (the weakest 8)

827 double positive
837 triple assertive/aggressive (most powerful tritype of all 27 tritypes)
847 double intense, fickle

An experimental exploration of the combination of enneagram numbers between a couple in terms of the Hornevian Triads, Harmonic Triads, Psychological Triads and subtypes to discover the path to individual growth and togetherness as a couple.

The numbers in parentheses are the undeveloped/secondary wing and subtype, areas of potential growth.

Male

• type: 6
• wings: (5) 7
• arrows: {3}, {9}
• tritype: [1], [3]
• subtype: SO/SP/(SX)
• enneatotal: [1]-{3}-[3]-(5)-6-7-{9} <4-8>
  
• Hornevian Triads
  • Compliant 126: 16 (very compliant 6)
    
  • Withdrawn 459: (5)9 (third weakest triad)
    
  • Assertive 378: 337 (triple assertive)
    
• Harmonic Triads
  • Competent 135: 133(5) (triple competent, potentially quadruple competent)
    
  • Positive 279: 79 (very positive 6)
    
  • Reactive: 468: 6 (second weakest triad)
    
• Psychological Triads
  • Intensity/Polarity 147: 17 (very intense; 1 means very b/w; 7 means gets fascinated/bored easily)
    
  • Superiority/Dominance 258: (5) (weakest triad, basically nonexistent)
    
  • Multiplicity/Chameleon: 3369 (quadruple chameleon; at unhealthy levels, most dishonest triad)
    
• ENFP

Lacking 4 and 8, the two types with deep feelings, the types with the deepest connection to other people. Lacking SX, the subtype that connects to other people most deeply. Lacking everything necessary for deep feeling and deep connections.

Female

• type: 8
• wings: 7 (9)
  
• arrows: {2}, {5}
• tritype: [6], [4]
• subtype: SX/SP/(SO)
• enneatotal: {2}-[4]-{5}-[6]-7-8-(9) <1-3>
  
• Hornevian Triads
  • Compliant 126: 26 (very compliant 8)
    
  • Withdrawn 459: 45(9) (potentially triple withdrawn)
    
  • Assertive 378: 78
    
• Harmonic Triads
  • Competent 135: 5 (weakest triad of all)
    
  • Positive 279: 27(9) (potentially triple positive)
    
  • Reactive: 468: 468 (triple reactive)
    
• Psychological Triads
  • Intensity/Polarity 147: 47 (very intense 8)
    
  • Superiority/Dominance 258: 258 (triple dominant)
    
  • Multiplicity/Chameleon: 6(9) (second weakest triad)
    
• MB: ENTJ

Combined Total: [1]–{2}–{3}–[3]–[4]–(5)–{5}–6–[6]–7–7–8–{9}–(9)

Shared: SP (5)-6-7-(9)

Sharing SP is sort of a contradiction in terms as SP is by definition self-centered, self-contained, seeking security for self. Even if BOTH people feel the other is part of their SP/security, what that means in practice is that they will each do their own thing, tolerating or allowing the other in their own SP space.

The problems with overlapping at 7 are that 7s are characterized their scattered interests, distraction, and impulsiveness. It is very difficult to get two people who are that way to overlap. Therefore, at least in my mind, 7 does not count as real overlapping unless the interests and impulsiveness of the two are in the same things (e.g. having adventures together, travelling together, etc.).

Overlapping at 6 is the only thing these two people truly share. At unhealthy levels, they can be paranoid together. At average levels, they can be loyal followers together, contributing to some social group. Interestingly, though, at the healthiest level, they will be alone, because part of the unhealthiness of 6 means that they rely on others for security. A healthy 6 (as with any type) becomes self-reliant.

The two potential shared points are at 5 and 9, if each person concentrates on nurturing that secondary wing. However, as both 5 and 9 are extremely withdrawn, it is more likely that the 5-9 will tone down the 6-7 than be a place of to share connection, unless both find a topic (or topics) of interest at 5 to delve into deeply.

An experimental exploration of the combination of enneagram numbers between a couple in terms of the Hornevian Triads, Harmonic Triads, Psychological Triads and subtypes to discover the path to individual growth and togetherness as a couple.

The numbers in parentheses are the undeveloped/secondary wing and subtype, areas of potential growth.

Male

• type: 6
• wings: 5 (7)
• arrows: {3}, {9}
• tritype: [1], [2]
• subtype: SO/SX/(SP)
• enneatotal: [1]-[2]-{3}-5-6-(7)-{9} <4-8>
  
• Hornevian Triads
  • Compliant 126: 126 (triple compliant)
    
  • Withdrawn 459: 59 (very withdrawn)
    
  • Assertive 378: 3(7) (potentially assertive)
    
• Harmonic Triads
  • Competent 135: 135 (triple competent)
    
  • Positive 279: 2(7)9 (very positive; potentially triple positive)
    
  • Reactive: 468: 6 (weakest triad)
    
• Psychological Triads
  • Intensity/Polarity 147: 1(7) (not very intense)
    
  • Superiority/Dominance 258: 28 (very dominant)
    
  • Multiplicity/Chameleon: 369 (triple chameleon)
    
• ENTP

This 6 with 1 and 2 in the tritype has all 3 numbers of the Hornevian Compliant Triad, so it is the most compliant tritype, the tritype that most moves towards people.

This 6 also has all the numbers of the Competency Triad (1-3-5; coldest, most logical, rational).

While there are two of the numbers of the Positive Triad (2-7-9), without exercising the assertive 7 wing, it is a compliant and withdrawn positivity as opposed to the infectious positivity of a 7.

Numbers missing from his enneatotal are 4 and 8, the two most deeply emotional types on the enneagram. With only the 6 from the Reactive Triad (4-6-8), this is a comparatively non-reactive, unemotional 6.

This particular 6 has a very strong connection to the 5 wing and 9 arrow of the withdrawn triad (4-5-9).

A 6 with the SO instinctual variant wants to support the social group and is a very 2-ish looking 6. An SO 6 with 2 in the tritype amplifies the 2 tendencies.

The 3 highest energy types are 378, so this 6’s potential for growth lies in consciously exercising the secondary 7 wing and using the arrow to 3, both assertive and high energy numbers, in order to balance out the compliance with 7 energy, positivity (fun!) and 3 goal-orientedness (being more competitive and getting things done).

He is triple compliant, triple competent, and very positive (with potential to be even more positive at 7), warm, people-oriented, focused on helping others by finding the right solution their problems.

Female

• type: 8
• wings: 9 (7)
• arrows: {2}, {5}
• tritype: [7], [4]
• subtype: SP/SO/(SX)
• enneatotal: {2}-[4]-{5}-(7)-[7]-8-9 <1-3-6>
  
• Hornevian Triads
  • Compliant 126: 2 (not very compliant)
    
  • Withdrawn 459: 459 (triple withdrawn)
    
  • Assertive 378: 7(7)8 (very assertive; potentially triple assertive)
    
• Harmonic Triads
  • Competent 135: 5 (weakest triad with multiplicity)
    
  • Positive 279: 27(7)9 (triple positive; potentially quadruple positive)
    
  • Reactive: 468: 48 (very reactive)
    
• Psychological Triads
  • Intensity/Polarity 147: 47(7) (very intense; potentially triple intense)
    
  • Superiority/Dominance 258: 258 (triple dominant)
    
  • Multiplicity/Chameleon: 9 (weakest triad together with competency)
    
• MB: I?F?
  

Though on the surface, this is a quiet-looking 8 with a 9 wing, this 8 is extra assertive (7-7-8), double reactive (4-8), triple withdrawn (4-5-9), and with the secondary 7 wing, even more than triple positive (2-7-7-9). This is the most positive and most withdrawn 8, the least angry-looking 8.

All the positive numbers (2-7-9) create an outwardly cheerful and sunny disposition. However, the numbers of the Positive Triad all maintain positivity by moving away from or denying negativity, so combined with all the numbers of the Withdrawn Triad (4-5-9) and the SP instinctual variant (the most withdrawn subtype) means this 8 avoids pain and conflict by moving away from people and away.

The 4 and the 7 are the two most creative numbers on the enneagram, the most fashionable in a unique way, drawn to beauty and originality. They are part of the 147 Intensity/Polarity Triad (aka the “nothing is ever good enough” triad). However, where 4s are emotionally intense, and take time to slowly feel everything is unbearably gorgeous or unbearably ugly (and combined with the 9 wing slows things down even further), 7s are intellectually intense and they think everything is immediately fascinating or boring for a moment before hopping on to the next thing that happens to catch their attention. Either way, both remain dissatisfied with whatever is before them. Having both 4 and 7 in the tritype makes for an extremely conflicted person who needs time to feel things deeply while simultaneously being constantly distracted by the surrounding environment.

This 8’s path to growth is in going to 5 and 2, both numbers that are antithetical to 8. With this enneatotal, the 2 is especially difficult to move to, as it requires consciously moving away from SP and withdrawn tendencies, moving towards people without false positivity and escapism, facing unpleasant and heavy realities in order to help others.

However, 2 is also a fairly high energy type, so moving to 5 will calm the high intensity and energy of both 7 and 8. Also, learning to lean on the 9 wing in a healthy way, making peace by facing reality (instead of denial, the unhealthy way), and consciously moving against the 4 tendency of avoiding ugliness will balance the 7 need for escape and longing for freedom.

Combined Total: [1]–[2]–{2}–{3}–[4]–5–{5}–6–(7)–(7)–[7]–8–{9}–9

Shared: SO 2-5-(7)-9

Between the two, all 9 numbers are covered fairly evenly. This spread of numbers has great potential for balance and health.

At unhealthy levels, 2 is extremely self-centered (a taker instead of a giver), 5 is greedy and detached from other people (hoarder), and 9 is passive and slothful. An unhealthy couple with these numbers in common will be increasingly isolated from each other and trying to take from each other.

At healthy levels, 2 gives without expectation of anything in return, 5 connect and give themselves to others, and 9 takes action.

Stretching into and growing in the third area of subtype stacking, the basically nonexistent area, almost by definition goes against our very natures, but for two people to connect fully, it is absolutely vital. In the case of this couple, the male’s third subtype (SP) is the female’s first, and the female’s third (SX) is the male’s second, so it would be important for him to understand her need to have time alone regularly to recharge and come together, while it is important for her to create time to give him and his interests full attention from time to time.

For this couple to come closer together and grow, it is important to be very involved in the same social group in a Helper or Peacemaker type of role (2 and 9 are both people oriented), while fostering closeness with each other at 5 (the husband’s wing and wife’s arrow) and 7 (both husband and wife share a secondary 7 wing), perhaps finding varied subjects to dive into together deeply (5) for short periods (7).

This means the husband needs to hold back on his 5-ness (deep obsession with limited subjects) while the wife needs to delve into her 5-ness more deeply. And the wife needs to hold back on her 7-ness (speed, impulsiveness, scatteredness) while the husband exercises his secondary 7 wing until he can access it easily so they can enjoy things together and have fun together.

When the husband develops his 7 wing, though, potential downfall would be escapism together, seeking fun together in order to avoid reality.

Though the wife’s 7-ness shields her from her husband’s 6w5 tendencies towards depression and anxiety, it creates a wall between them as well. To break through that wall, both need to remember that her 7 can help lift him up and provide relief from his 6 anxieties and fears if he is willing to stretch out his 7 wing and fly with her.

He can find success and confidence through achievement if he can learn to draw from her boundless 8 energy to fuel his 3.

This site is a joint, online, enneagram notebook among friends who study and discuss the enneagram together as a way to encourage and enlighten each other.

All the types on the enneagram have stops of energy except the 8. For the 8, the energy never stops. They have an internal motor, endless energy, and it overwhelms people around them who are not 8s. There is no “stop” for an 8.

If there is a goal, 8s keep going and going and going until they get it. They have the most endurance of all the types. They burn people around them out. Either that, or when those around them are tired, they carry everyone around them towards the goal.

One of the most exhausting things to an 8 is trying to keep all that boundless energy inside. 8s realize, after a while, that their energy is considered “too much” for those around them so they keep dialing it down, pulling it in, pulling back, and it is completely exhausting.

They are the type most “in” their body. They tend to have trouble sitting still for a long time. They want to keep moving, including physically.

Tonight, I got into a discussion about the behaviour of 3s related to the gut type in their tritype. It was interesting to additionally think of how their subtype would further emphasize their tendencies governed by their gut type.

• Type 3 with 1 in the tritype
  most compliant 3; rule-maker, rule-enforcer, rule follower; dominates by using/abusing the system; thinks inside the box; predictable; most holier-than-thou 3 (“I am better than you, I win by following all the rules”). This kind of 3 would be even most compliant as an SP, as the SP 3 desires to win at “goodness” and generally avoids people.
• Type 3 with 9 in the tritype
  reinforces existing 9-ness in 3 (arrow to 9); slowest, most passive, least productive of the 3s; the nicest, most people-oriented 3. This kind of 3 with SX would be even nicer and most involved with people, as the SX 3 focuses on helping others.
• Type 3 with 8 in the tritype
  most aggressive and dominating, unpredictable 3; rule-breaker; most creative 3 (“I am going to win no matter what; nothing can stand in my way”). Combining this with an SO would make them even more aggressive, dominating and climbing over people to get to the top.